It really becomes annoying when your friends can’t resolve arguments and start treating you like a go-between. One of them is upset with the other over something and use you to vent their frustration.
You find yourself piggy in the middle and any attempt to mediate just seems to make things worse.
Ok so you know what I’m on about. Well here are a few tips for next time you find yourself in this position.
1. Make eye contact with them
2. Maintain an upright position when asking a question
3. End your questions on a low note
4. Tell yourself ‘Healthy disagreements can strengthen relationships’
5. Tell each person that they are each responsible for their actions
6. Ask each person ‘what is it that the other person is doing or not doing that is giving them a problem?’
This question quickly engages people’s brain and not their mouth
7. Then ask them ‘how does this affect their lives?’
8. Ask for ideas for change i.e. ‘So what do they need to do differently to resolve arguments?’
9. If you don’t agree with their thinking use the words ‘I see it differently’ instead of ‘I disagree’ because
this word arouses negative emotions
10. If one of them tries to steer you towards their view point and you don’t want to be, say ‘no’ kindly
‘I appreciate you’d like me to side with you
No, I ‘m sorry I feel differently in that I believe that’s not their intention.
Next time you think they’re in the wrong – tell me and if I can agree with you – I will’
If you can resolve arguments you’ll get respect from everyone because you’re being supportive and helpful whilst also remaining objective so you can give the most useful advice and be a true friend.