The Danger of Mixed Messages! Have you ever said anything to somebody that was misinterpreted or misunderstood?
For example has something like this ever happened to you?
Joanna found her husband’s habit of interrupting her and finishing off her sentences increasingly annoying. Today she resolved she was going to talk to him about it. Joanna tended to avoid any kind of conflict and wanted to do this with a “light” touch without hurting Tim’s feelings.
Joanna felt proud of herself after she had spoken to Tim and looked forward to the change in their relationship. However, days went by and she became more deflated as nothing had seemed to change.
Plucking up the courage again she reminded Tim he had agreed to stop interrupting her but was now doing it as frequently as ever.
“I thought you agreed”, she said, “that you would try from now on not to interrupt me like you did before but you are doing it as much as you were before.”
“I didn’t think you were serious about it”, Tim laughed, “because you were smiling and joking when you said it. How was I to know you meant it!”
If you don’t get the response you had hoped for chances are that you have been hi-jacked by one of the golden rules of communication:
Make what you say and how you say it – be congruent. Your non verbal behaviour needs to be in tune with your words – you need the words to match the music.
At Howtobeassertive.com through our One:One Coaching we guide and instruct you into making the necessary adjustments to ensure your communication is effective and gets the response from others that you want .
We’ll look at the words you use and how you say them to determine whether your communication will be interpreted as being non assertive, aggressive or assertive.
We’ll see how the non-verbal elements of your message play a significant part in clarity and understanding. These elements particularly apply to face-to-face interactions, but also affect other forms of remote communication such as telephone and the written word.
Remember the effectiveness of your communication is measured by the response you get, if you want to ensure you get the right response and avoid sending a mixed message book one of our One:one coaching sessions today.