Getting Your Own Way At Home

small_5379525685Getting your own way at home can be a challenge. Domestic situations can be emotional to deal with, especially if you’re faced with tricky situations that you haven’t done anything about before.
The temptation is to challenge people in a non-assertive way, not wanting to upset them or cause an argument; or, you may feel you want to hammer home your point and command that family members respect your authority.

3 Tips for getting the behaviour you want from others at home

Praise the behaviour you want from your kids
When your children do what you ask, acknowledge it and give praise and let them know how it’s helped.
‘James thanks for hanging the washing out, it meant that I could get on with the dinner so we  didn’t have to gulp our food down before I took you to football practise.’

Build on their success
Consistently catch your kids doing ‘good things’.
Give short (more play time, extra T.V. time), as well as longer term rewards (trips out, gifts), and also verbal praise to grow their self-esteem and confidence.
‘Sara I noticed how you really socialised at the reception this afternoon and spoke to all the other guests, I was very proud of you.’

Clarify your expectations of your partner
Problems occur between couples because you assume that your partner should know what you want and you get frustrated and angry when they seem oblivious.
‘When you’re not mindful of things I have to do and expect me to drop everything to help you, I feel you don’t respect that I’ve things to do as well.  I get angry and I don’t want to,  so lets talk about how we help and don’t help each other out generally.’

Every time we succeed at being assertive it’s evidence of how we’re progressing and provides others with proof of how their behaviour needs to change too.
Getting your own way at home can be a challenge yet progress made at home will have a huge impact on the quality of your entire life.

photo credit: K. Sawyer Photography via photopin cc
 

One Response to “Getting Your Own Way At Home”

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  1. Subhash Muneshwar says:

    Hi Conrad & Susanne, I like your advice about not just praising kids but actually telling them how their contribution has made a difference. Children these days are too clever for empty praises. i also like your point about building confidence in your children because this is what is most important in my view. Without this quality, all skills and talents remain internalised and unexpressed to their fullest.

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