How to find the right partner

small_1764091841How to find the right partner is a question people have been asking for a long time. How can being assertive help?

When you’re assertive you give yourself permission to ask questions of others.
You allow yourself the right to ask key questions to filter unsuitable candidates quickly and identify people on your wave length.
Follow these steps to find the right partner:

Step one
Identify your bottom line, in other words what is it about a potential partner that matters most to you? (i.e. they must be a generous/kind/non judgemental person)
Write down your answers

Question your answers further i.e. What is it about them being non judgemental that is important to me?
Write down your answer

Question that answer further i.e. What is it about them having a forgiving heart that’s important to me?
Write down your answer

So for instance the ability ‘to forgive’ may be the most desirable trait that you hold or seek to find in someone else. Knowing from the outset what are the most important things you want in a partner will save you so much time and agony later on.

Step Two
So next, here are the questions you need to ask of those people who have shown an interest in you (and you’re obviously keen on them).

Question One
I’m curious to find out – how will you know specifically when you’ve met the right person?
(ans e.g. a sense of humour)

Question two
I see and what is it about them i.e. having a sense of humour that’s most critical to you?
(ans e.g they don’t take life/themselves too seriously)

Question three
That’s interesting, so them not taking themselves or life too seriously is important because?
(ans e.g. they’re more tolerant and forgiving of others)

Test Understanding
Ok, so it’s their ability to forgive and be tolerant of others that’s most desirable/critical for you

Step three
If you empathise with their responses i.e. they touched a nerve with you and what they said rang true for you.
Then look them in the eyes and say ‘those are the same things that matter most to me too and I’m looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with’.

If they nod/smile/acknowledge positively (they actually don’t have to say anything), you will have achieved a meeting of minds and an acceptance of your intentions.
If they say that they want to see you again you have both just laid the foundations from which to build a loving relationship.

How to find the right partner is only a matter of time if you master this skill.

How to find the right partner is a question people have been asking for a long time. How can being assertive help?

photo credit: positivelypurple via photopin cc

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